A line of cowled and hooded monks enters chanting, holding big thick books. The monks hit themselves on their foreheads with the books.
Sacrosanctus Domine
Pecavi ignoviunt
Inesus Christus Domine
Pax vobiscum venerunt
Robin
Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead!
Lance enters dragging a little old man, apparently dead.
Lance
Here's one.
Fred
I'm not dead!
Robin
Here, he says he's not dead!
Lance
Yes, he is.
Fred
I feel happy, I feel happy.
I am not dead yet
I can dance and I can sing
I am not dead yet
I can do the highland fling
I am not dead yet
No need to go to bed
No need to call the doctor
'Cause I'm not yet dead.
The four bodies on the cart quite suddenly sit up and sing.
Minstrels
He is not yet dead
That's what the geezer said
Oh, he's not yet dead
That man is off his head
He is not yet dead
Put him back in bed
Keep him off the cart because he's not yet dead
Old man performs a lively dance but Lance whacks him smartly on the head.
Minstrels
Well, now he's dead
You whacked him on the head
Sure now he's dead
It makes me just see red
You are such a brute
To murder that old coot
You homicidal bastard, now he's really dead.
Who is the knave who put him in his grave
And who needs to manage his anger?
Lance
My name is Lancelot
I'm big and strong and hot
Occasionally I do
Some things that I should not
Robin
I want to be a knight
But I don't like to fight
I'm rather scared I may
Just simply run away
Lance
I'll be right with you
Robin through and through and through
So stick with me and I'll show you what t odo
Robin
We'll remain good chums
You can teach me how to dance
Both
We're going to enlist
Robin
I'm Robin
Lance
And I'm Lance
Chorus
Oh we're off to war
Because we're not yet dead
We will all enlist
As the knights that Arthur led
Fred
I am coming too
My name will be Sir Fred
I'll be your musician
'Cause I'm not yet dead!
Chorus
Oh, we're not dead yet
To Camelot we go
To enlist instead
To try and earn some dough
And so although
We should have stayed in bed
We're going off to war
Because we're not yet dead
(Over chorus, counter melody)
Lance
To kill
I will
It gives me such a thrill
Robin
To sing
And dance
And keep an eye on Lance
All
We're going off to war
We'll have girlfriends by the score
Fred
We'll be shot by Michael Moore
All
Because we're not yet dead.
Composers: Eric Idle & John Du Prez
Author: Eric Idle
Originally From: Spamalot
