Inflammation of the foreskin reminds me of your smile
I’ve had ballanital chancroids for quite a little while
I gave my heart to NSU that lovely night in June
I ache for you my darling, and I hope you get well soon
My penile warts, your herpes, my syphilitic sores
Your moenelial infection, how I miss you more and more
Your dobies itch, my scrumpox, our lovely gonorrhea
At least we both were lying when we said that we were clear
Our syphilitic kisses sealed the secret of our tryst
You gave me scrotal pustules with a quick flick of your wrist
Your trichovaginitis sent shivers down my spine
I got snail tracks in my anus when your spirochetes met mine
Chorus
Gonoccocal urethritis, streptococcal ballinitis
Meningo myelitis, dipolococcal cephalitis
Epididimitis, interstitial keratitis
Syphilitic choroiditis, and anterior uveitis
My clapped out genitalia is not so bad for me
As the complete and utter failure every time I try to pee
My doctor says my pupils are the worst he’s ever seen
My scotum’s painted orange and my balls are turning green
My heart is very tender although my parts are awful raw
You might have been infected, but you never were a bore
In dying of your love my love, I’m your spirochaetal clown
I’ve left my body to science, but I’m afraid they’ve turned it down
Chorus
Gonoccocal urethritis, streptococcal ballinitis
Meningo myelitis, dipolococcal cephalitis
Epididimitis, interstitial keratitis
Syphilitic choroiditis, and anterior uveitis
Composesr: Eric Idle & John Du Prez
Authors: Eric Idle & Graham Chapman
Originally From: Monty Python's Contractual Obligation Album
