Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stable
Heideggar, Heideggar was a boozy beggar
Who could drink you under the table
David Hume could out-consume
Widheim Freidrich Hegel
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as schloshed as Schegel
There’s nothing Neitzche couldn’t teach ya
‘Bout the raising of the wrist
Socrates himself was permanently pissed
John Stuart Mill of his own free will
On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill
Plato, they say, could stick it away
Half a crate of whiskey every day
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle
Hobbes was fond of his dram
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart
"I drink therefore I am."
Yes Socrates himself is particularly missed
A lovely little thinker but a bugger when he’s pissed
Composer: Eric Idle
Author: Eric Idle
Singer: Eric Idle
Originally From: Matching Tie And Handkerchief
