Chapter 1
"Just go talk to her, Eric, you've got nothing to lose!" Mike urged softly, turning back to Helen. Eric laughed nastily, returning to his drink with a scowl. It seemed to him that everyone was getting hitched these days, even Mike had gone and found himself a lady and a good one at that. Maybe it was his turn, but it wasn't likely that the flower-child across the room was going to take any notice of him. It was also unlikely that the keyboard player in the band was going to take any notice of him. So he settled down for another depressing night of watching his friends all enjoy their time with girlfriends and wives while he watched, as usual.
The bartender gave him a sympathetic look and slapped a small shot glass in front of him, filled to the top with malt liquor. He winked and turned to the waitress who had returned for a refill on drinks for another table. Eric nodded thankfully and picked up the glass, downing it with a grimace before stepping off to walk toward the toilet. Maybe he'd be able to pick up some guys tonight, that seemed easier than women. Laughing at his own stupidity, Eric pushed into the toilet with a snort and leaned against the far wall, inhaling the stale smell of the chokingly small room. The door pushed open behind him and in walked Gray, who paused for a moment seeing Eric leaned up against the wall in his own private anguish.
"You alright?" He asked, putting a hand on Eric's shoulder. He jumped, but nodded before smiling weakly and exiting the room and walking back out among the many couples dancing. A few women gave him looks, but he wasn't quite up to it anymore; he wasn't feeling like he was in a very articulate mood which was highly uncommon.
Hoping he would find anything to cheer him up, Eric wandered aimlessly along the perimeter of the dance floor, looking for anyone he recognized, any ex-girlfriend that was looking for him, even if only to smack him or indulge in him one last time. He'd take what he could at this point, sadly enough.
"Hey stranger," a soft voice seemed to be teasing him. Spinning around, Eric grimaced to recognize his latest ex-girlfriend, Natalie Schmidt. She sneered at him with a strange _expression on her face, eyes glued to his face, slowly running down his entire body as though undressing him. He squirmed before turning only to run right into her cronies, a couple of overweight, underpaid whores. They sneered at him as well, running their hands over him.
He bared his teeth, suddenly and comically animalistic. "Hands off ladies, I'm broke tonight," he exclaimed snidely. All three women became half cat suddenly and began to hiss and claw at him until he was rescued by an old friend. She elbowed Natalie out of the way and pulled Eric out of the ensuing din with an almost pushy attitude.
"Damnit, Nadia, if I've told you once I've told you twice: you deplete what little masculinity I have when you save my ass like that!" He cried at his old female friend from Cambridge, picking up his drink from the bar where he'd left it. She rolled her eyes at him and put her elbows on the wood, her square glasses slipping to the end of her nose. As always, Eric absent-mindedly reached over and pushed them up to the bridge of her nose for her, not noticing that Gray and Mike were exchanging looks of knowing to each other.
Finally, the ever-quiet Nadia spoke. "It was either let you die out there and not talk to me tonight, or let them murder you and laugh with them. I rather like keeping my friends." She replied coolly, looking at him over the thick black frames.
Eric let out a sigh that resembled a man in great dislike of something. "I can't believe it, but I, Eric Idle, have officially decided that tonight, I'll even take Natalie back if it means one night-"
"Don't finish that thought; you're not that desperate." She told him with a small smile. Her short black hair was so short she had been able to style it on top of her head with hair spray and gel, making her look sort of quirky in the room full of all the long-haired flower children. She had always been his friend, ever since he could remember meeting her. It had been almost instant magic, meeting her.
He remembered walking on campus, his mother and grandmother waving and crying hysterically as they pulled out of the area he was boarding in before he finally decided to go check out the main campus area. As soon as he saw her sitting in the water fountain with four security guards scrabbling to get her out of the water where she was being drenched, he knew he'd found a friend. Eric had helped her escape the guards then, hiding her in a small dorm where he knew a guy and then taking her back to his place for a change of clothes before the guards left, certain she was still in the area. They hadn't seen her go into his dorm, so it would probably be alright if they caught a bus over to her dorm. Ever since then they had been attached at the hip, never even thinking about anything other than zany antics and other fun things. Eric had always made fun of the fact that everyone else seemed to be falling all over themselves with "hidden feelings" for their best friends, but he said that if a man and woman chose to be friends, that marriages were practically sleepovers with your best friends and everyone should lighten up. Nadia had agreed, and suddenly they were like this always dating, never quite boyfriend/girlfriend couple. That hadn't changed at all, only they hardly ever saw each other what with Eric's new job and Nadia's many boyfriends.
"So, who's the bastard you're cheating on me with now?" Eric asked lightly.
Nadia smirked and turned to him. "I'm actually single now; if you really are desperate, Eric, you know I've got a few dozen decks of cards at my house."
He smiled mischievously. "Strip poker it is!"
They looked at each other and shook their heads. Maybe sex hadn't swung their way yet, but they had pretty much lived through everything else. They had lived together, shared bank accounts for a year, Eric had been there when her sister had given birth, she'd been there when Eric's grandmother had died, it was like they were just waiting for something romantic to happen and they never saw it that way. Hell, other than a kiss on the cheek the other person was like a relative you hardly ever see but used to love to death. As if this option was becoming more clear to him, Eric looked at Nadia.
She glanced up at him and cocked her head.
"Hey Nadia!" John sidled up to her.
She turned to him and grinned broadly, looking up into his eyes. "Hi John!"
"Gosh, how are you doing? We haven't spoken in ages; Eric never calls you over anymore-" He was cut off when Eric rolled his eyes dutifully.
"For the last time, John, we haven't dated, ever."
He scoffed out loud and waved away Eric's comment. "You've lived together, shared money, personal, and joyful problems together; you might as well be married."
As always, neither of the two seemed embarrassed about everyone insisting they should date. Nadia simply shrugged. "Nothing we haven't heard before, John."
"I know, and as always, I'm here to join up with the rest of the world in saying, 'God damn you kids, at least go out once!'" He grinned and bowed low before walking back over to the table where other partying Pythons were sitting.
Eric wasn't stupid; he knew that Nadia was a beautiful girl and anyone would be lucky to be with her, including himself, but he never looked at her in any other light than the friendly almost sisterly way. There had been nights after traumas in her life where the only place she could fall even into a shallow sleep had been his arms, and yet he'd only been there for her because he knew she needed him and he knew he loved her enough to be there for her. It was always this mutual friendliness that would eventually drive his mother insane, like everyone else. An ex-boyfriend of Nadia's had become drunk and tried to hurt Nadia nearly seven months after Eric's graduation, and she'd found him way down in London and stayed with him for three weeks. Those three weeks had been like a class reunion. He skipped all sorts of things he needed to do, just to get Nadia back into the place in her life where she felt comfortable. She was a better person when she knew there was good in the world, and Eric was just the person to show her all the bright and shiny faces out there. Likewise to Eric, Nadia wasn't stupid. Eric was a great guy, but in the same way, she'd never once worried about being alone and having to find a potential mate. She wasn't worried about losing a friend by finding new "hidden feelings" for him, their friendship had always swayed on the romantic side, but they never seemed to feel the need to be physical or do anything else. Lust was saved for strangers, not for those they didn't want to hurt or cause pain to.
Eric sighed, breaking the silence. "Well, I suppose I should be getting home, that is, if you need a ride?" he asked, pulling a set of keys from his pocket.
After a moment, Nadia nodded, and allowed him to lead her to his car and drive her along the deserted roads. Instead of bothering to ask her where she lived, he drove right up to his house, and with no words spoken between them, they collapsed inside together on the couch, simply happy to still be friends.
*****
"Just open the door, he never locks it anyway."
Terry pressed open the door and walked in, dropping his keys on the table. It was past noon; Eric must be awake be now. As the others filed in, there was a soft "Oh!" to their right. Mike was smiling gently on the couch, which he stepped aside to show, Eric and Nadia lying together there, faces inches apart with their breathing in sync and everything.
John snorted. "Friends my ass!"
With that exclamation, Nadia sat up and pulled her glasses onto her face, blinking rapidly as she noticed Eric's friends standing around her like a zoo exhibit. Eric jumped up as she clamored across his lap and rubbed his face heartily, trying to ignore the fact that the clamoring across his lap and the added fact that Nadia's shirt was falling off her shoulders had nearly made him squeak out loud. John's raised eyebrows made Eric want to moan with anguish; nobody seemed to understand that the participating parties in any relationship tend to know what's best for them.
He looped his arm around her waist and smiled weakly as she leaned back into the crook of his arm, her appearance tiresome to look at. She was so predictable; sinking into his arms like she always did early in the morning. Even a few weeks after meeting her she had always seemed to collapse right into his arms for a daily shaking. As always, he shook her shoulders briskly, loving the way she flopped around until she finally snapped to attention and gave him a quick little hug, standing up to make tea.
"Sorry I didn't take you home last night; I didn't feel like looking for your new house in the dark," Eric explained as he gestured for the others to sit. He walked into the hallway of his house, pulling his shirt off as he did, little or no concern there was a female in the house.
Pulling on her clothes a bit, Nadia straightened her glasses again and pulled on her hair. Eric walked back into the room, jeans and a short sleeved shirt on, tossing a plain white dress shirt to her. She exited to his hallway, just in his peripheral vision, before changing out of her short sleeved shirt and into his very loose dress shirt, buttoning up the front as she walked out into the kitchen again. She left most of the buttons undone, the bottom up far enough to reveal her navel, the top low enough to bare her tanned chest. She was a French beauty; all her heritage lead to the French, and she even spoke the language fluently, which went well with her easily tanned skin, dark black hair, and bright green eyes. Her bellbottom jeans were hanging helter skelter on her hips, far too big for her. Even her feet seemed to show how indifferent she was to certain things. Toe rings on her toes, a tattoo covering most of her left foot. She exuded an anti-fashion war cry, which intrigued all the Pythons, though they didn't dare walk in on Eric's girl, even if he was adamant about his un-involvement with her. If the opportunity for him to date Nadia ever came around, they were not going to interfere with that.
"Where do you keep-?" She started to ask him when he pulled a griddle out from a cabinet somewhere just below her and placed it on the work surface, smiling as she watched him with a smile that could show she was impressed he still knew that the only good meal she could cook was breakfast, even if it was only omelettes and toast. He kissed her on the cheek, smacking her lightly with a spatula before sprawling out on the couch with Mike and Gray to work out the kinks on a few sketches they were working on for their new show.
The day was wasted on Nadia; she finished making the breakfast, served it to the starving masses and herself, and then made herself busy picking up around the house while the men talked. She found quite a few things to do, including dishes, laundry, and his bathroom was filthy, so she cleaned that in a desperate attempt to stay busy. Every time she surfaced in the living area with a cleaning bottle or a laundry hamper, Eric would grin and say an endless thank you while she did whatever it was she was doing. When the guys finally did leave, it was ten o' clock at night and Nadia knew her house was a little over an hour away. Eric insisted on giving her a ride anyway, and did so willingly.
It was odd, seeing her again. She seemed to grow in a lot of ways every time he saw her, and in a lot of ways he did feel like he should tell her some things, just because she had the right to know. It was more of a "don't ask don't tell" type thing though, telling her that when she undressed to change in front of him, of recent, he seemed to be short of breath. There must have been some way he could make it light-hearted, but he didn't want to. He wanted her to know that whatever it was that he had made fun of for all those years was happening now, and he didn't seem to care at all. In fact, the idea of kissing her on the mouth was starting to become more and more appealing.
"There it is, on the left." She pointed on her side of the car to a small brick house. He slowed to a stop and climbed out to see her inside, to check in on her digs, and to make sure she was alright. As he sat on the couch he felt something odd stir in the air. She stood in the light of the lamp, the only light on at that point, and looked absolutely heavenly.
He grinned. "You look real good, Nadia."
She blushed lightly, which was odd for Nadia. "Gee, thanks! I feel like I just came out of the dryer." She rubbed her shirt with a frown. "Which isn't odd, seeing how I did laundry all day."
Eric didn't feel odd as he thought of putting his thought into a question, but it did feel odd for Nadia to be standing there with a schoolgirl's demeanor, her usually casual and friendly flair gone and replaced by this well-behaved, blushing little girl. She was adorable in that way, but it wasn't her, and he wanted it to stop.
"Do you suppose the only reason we never think about dating is the fact we've never tried to do anything romantically?" he asked, catching her off guard.
She snorted, almost completely normal again. "What do you mean? I don't know many friends out there that have had joined checking-"
He waved his arms around, cutting her off. "I don't mean that, Nadia, I mean we've never even had time to think about it. I mean, have you ever considered what it would be like if we just tried it?"
"Tried what, Eric? Don't get me wrong, you're one of my best friends ever, I love you, but I don't know what you mean!" There was a slight tremor in her voice now.
Eric smiled and sidled up next to her, feeling her body emanate a beautiful heat over him, making him acutely aware that he wasn't just admiring her beautiful smile, but staring at it with a vigor. Had it always been like this? And when had her house gotten so bloody hot?
"What I mean, dear, is that while all those other dumbasses are out there whining about not wanting to spoil their friendships with people, we've sat here just laughing at them and never doing anything." He felt his own voice drop down to a husky whisper.
She squinted. "Are you insinuating something?"
"Only that suddenly I want to know."
"Want to know WHAT, Eric?" she asked, exasperated.
He took both sides of her head in his hands. "Nadia, we haven't even kissed on the mouth and we act like we are certain we don't ever want to see each other like we're dating. I am almost one hundred percent certain that a kiss won't ruin anything we've built up over the years."
She snorted again, looking away. "You don't know what will happen but you want to try."
"Worst-case scenario: we don't like it. We are still best friends, right?" He elbowed her weakly. "Opposite worst-case, highly unlikely scenario: we like it and fall madly in love. Does that really sound like us?" He smiled weakly.
"We know more about each other than our own mothers, Eric. We know too much! Aren't you a little bit afraid we're going to mistake something we know we have for something we don't have?" she asked, looking both ways nervously.
Realisation hit Eric squarely, startling him. She was pushing him away because she knew she wanted it too. Maybe it was time they both just sucked up their fears and did what they had been laughing about for so many years.
He sighed and slipped his arm around her, kissing the side of her head. "Still just friends then,"
She looked up with a slightly startled look, looking away with a heavy blush when she saw him smirk and lift his eyebrows at her. He ran his hand over her shoulder a few times, smiling with a sort of wisdom as she tried to pretend like she hadn't just been caught in her own lie.
"I only meant that we could mistake the friendship love we have for something else," she replied thickly.
He shrugged and started to stand up. "I guess we'll never know, as you won't even try it."
He knew she couldn't resist a challenge, so when she jerked him back onto the couch and gave him an evil eye, he knew he'd won the battle, war, and medals.
"Alright, you dolt, kiss me! Figure it out yourself!" She opened her arms like the gate had been opened.
Even Eric was surprised at the speed in which he flew to her, mouth moving quickly over hers, a gasp emitting from her as a spark of pleasure lit up between them. Not a comprehensible thought was spread in Nadia's head; she was utterly confused as her lips moved on their own accord, pressing against Eric's, flooding her nose with his cologne and his touch. Before they could even decide whether or not it was just a friendly kiss, Nadia's lips parted and Eric's tongue flitted in without a second thought. It was only instinct, loving the way she fit in his arms and way she went completely docile once he took control. She flailed for a moment in the taste of him, putting her hand on the back of his head for support; he was unaware of the sounds he was making. Finally she gained half of her mind and pressed her tongue back into his mouth, feeling whatever confusion left in her disappear, covered only with a primal instinct to please him. She wanted nothing more than to give him what he wanted now, even if that meant sex with her best friend. He was her only friend at this point, and she did love him, but now it was like she was realizing that all along she had misinterpreted herself. Her tongue slipped back into her own mouth, lips closing as an emptiness flowed to her, eyes opening slowly to see Eric's bright blue eyes staring back, wide and confused.
"Well?" he asked, hands still holding her tight like he was afraid to drop her.
She still held onto his head and shoulder, looking him over with a completely open mind. "Yeah, that was alright."
He smiled. "Not bad for a first kiss, eh?"
She squirmed away from him, hiding her grin comfortably. "I dunno, you could've done better."
He gaped, jaw hanging open. "You think so, huh? I'd like to see you-"
"Do better? Gladly," she grinned mischievously at him before situating herself on his lap.
They looked at the other for a moment before she leaned forward and ran her lips over his, teasing him. He jerked his head forward, trying to capture her lips with his own, but she was cunning and managed to keep him tortured for a few minutes before taking his head with both hands and kissing him defiantly. He whimpered against her, trying to get her even closer to himself, though it was impossible. He was just starting to feel the slow and steady aspect of the kiss slide into gear when she moved again, pushing his shoulders back to the armrest, only a few inches away. He rocked backwards and felt his shoulders hit a soft pillow, though he was more concerned with Nadia, who was lying over him now, her body so unbelievably tempting. The tease was far from over, because they both seemed to realize that it was late and they were alone there, and neither of them could deny that the electricity flooding from the other wasn't exciting.
The best part about Eric and Nadia being best friends was the comfort between them. If she elbowed him in the stomach and hurt him barely, he'd just grunt and smile, Nadia giggling before the passion in them resituated itself and all pain was forgotten. After all that heavy kissing, snogging almost, they pulled apart and began to kiss more slowly, an instinct of some kind slipping in. They began to kiss slower and slower, building up what had been flowing like a river before, every kiss damming up the waters between them.
"Has it always been like this, Nadia?" Eric's rushed and breathy voice echoed into Nadia's ear faintly.
She sighed against him and hugged him tight, putting her head on his shoulder. "I don't know, I'm just enjoying the moment."
His arms crept up to hold her tighter, a smile on his face. "Me too, dear, me too. I'm thinking I should stay tonight, couch or no?" he asked, running a hand over her back slowly, feeling at the clasps of her bra.
She squirmed away from him, eyes dancing playfully. "You can stay in a bed tonight, but if I wake up bra-less, I'm going to give you a swirlie, and you can count on that," she warned. He linked his hand into hers, laughing in a relieved way as she lead him into her room. The bed was unmade as they talked and climbed in together, curling up like they always did.
"See? We didn't ruin anything, now did we?" Eric asked, yawning slightly.
Nadia sighed. "I'm still confused."
He nuzzled her weakly, only sure that whenever he was this close to her he felt the strangest need to touch her. "We can figure it out later, when we're more awake."
"What if we can't?"
"Then we move on like it's all the same," he answered.
She sighed, exasperated again. "What's moving on, Eric?"
"Whatever we want."
He kissed her cheek again before falling into a heavy sleep with her wrapped up in his embrace.
*****
"So, Eric, where were you last night and half of today?" Mike asked, eyebrows lifted. Eric shrugged indifferently, feeling completely normal.
"I had to drop Nadia off at her new house; it was farther away than I expected," he replied evenly, wondering if they would believe him or not.
John nodded, his smile not hidden very well. "So I suppose you stayed the night, eh Idle?"
Without expression, Eric nodded. "Yup,"
Trying not to sound like he was doing what he was doing, Mike asked, "So, do you think you'll be getting together any time soon?"
Eric shrugged, drinking out of a tea cup deeply. "Maybe; we didn't talk about that."
He had a brief flashback to that morning. It wasn't anything special, except when he had left he had kissed her on the mouth and had felt an extreme reluctance to leave her at that point. The only exceptional thing he could remember was the kiss itself, which never ceased to amaze him.
"What did you talk about, then?" Mike frowned earnestly.
Eric sighed, wondering if he should be honest or not.
John's face emitted honest surprise. "You talked to her about dating, didn't you?"
Shrugging with an uncomfortable feeling, he decided that he might as well tell them what happened. "Sorta kinda? I mentioned that we always said we would never date because we didn't like each other that way, but I also said that we never give ourselves the chance to prove we don't like each other that way."
Gray smiled slightly. "And?"
"And we kissed and it was the best fucking kiss in my entire life," Eric spat, standing up. His heart was pounding hard, and not because he gave a damn about the cheering guys behind him, but because every time he heard or said the word "kiss" now he could only picture Nadia's sweet face blushing to him. He abandoned his tea cup and retrieved a beer from Terry's fridge.
Mike cleared his throat. "The best?"
With a hearty glare, Eric lifted the bottle to his lips and raised his eyebrows. "Yes,"
"You sure?" Terry asked, remembering clearly times when Eric would flip out simply because a woman was kissing him on the cheek, and she was supposed to be his best friend!
Eric rolled his eyes and took Terry's hand, putting it on his chest, though his heart had steadied by now. He gave silent instructions. "Nadia Smart kissed me," he said shortly, his heart jumping up into his throat to shut him up. His throat felt painfully crushed; he knew he wouldn't be able to talk. Terry's eyes did widen a bit when he felt Eric's heart go racing, but even Terry Gilliam, who probably knew Eric the least, was looking skeptical.
"You sure you're not in it for the sex?" Gray asked, tilting his head.
"We didn't have sex, Gray, we just kissed. I'm over-reacting with a kiss; you'll know if anything else happens," he muttered, rubbing the nape of his neck. "Besides, I knew her before now, I've lived with her. It's like now that I know how she operates outside of school and polite banter-the formalities gone-I can skip right to the rest of it. She was nervous just about kissing me, though..." He had to stop, his heart pounding again.
Mike shook his head with a low whistle. "And you made her do it?"
Shifting his weight conspiratorially, Eric nodded. "More or less; I kind of tricked her into it, you know? Made her think she was the one with all the say."
"Quite the pickle you're in, Eric, really. In love with your best friend and neither of you can do anything about it. Tsk tsk." John shook his head thoughtfully.
"Now now!" Eric retorted, smiling nervously. "I didn't say I was in love, guys. I just said that when she kisses me-" His voice cracked.
Mike chuckled, standing up. "You've got it bad, mate, real bad."
"Well, whatever I've got, it can stop right now," he spat, folding his arms with a scowl.
*****
Nadia walked along the city streets, eyes glued to her feet as she walked, gaze drifting over her class ring everyone and a while. It was a behemoth of a ring, just like a college or high school to make them gaudy and expensive, but the dark green jewel was beautiful; it matched her eyes. She had only graduated one year short of Eric, so she had gotten her ring early, with a little lie and some help with her application from her friend. They had, as promised, gotten them engraved and now, as she slipped the ring off her finger and peered at the inside circle, she felt a smile lift up on her face.
"Look! An Engraving!"
She snorted heavily before slipping the ring on again, shaking her head with a smile that could only be put there by a crazy man. As she situated her easel in her bag again so it wouldn't dig into her side, she could only wonder if her collection would be big enough for her to put on that show the art collector had promised. She couldn't only paint and find out, so she sat down in the park, staring at the playing children. She pulled out a small pencil and roughly sketched the trees and buildings, a few fountains that she remembered seeing when she looked up. In fact, when she closed her eyes, it was like a picture of what she had only glimpsed at was there, sitting there to be nit-picked and taken apart. She had a photographic memory, which right now was proving to be her most helpful asset.
"Nadia Smart! I haven't seen you in years!" A perky voice came over her shoulder. Knowing the picture would be there when she closed her eyes again, Nadia opened her eyes and grinned broadly, also knowing she'd seen this person a little over a week ago.
She leapt up and hugged the woman behind her, surprised to see her old elementary school friend back in town. "Lexi Bishop; who would have guessed to see you back in Burton?"
She laughed lightly, looking at the obscure shapes on Nadia's watercolor paper. "Not me, but I'm here now, working for a law firm."
"Excellent," Nadia replied, putting paint on a small pallet, eyeing the brightly colored shirts the children wore and the dull gray and chipped brick parts of the buildings and swing sets. She began to paint as she and Lexi caught up, completely unaware that the sun was starting to set and another day had gone by. Lexi and Nadia were as close as two girls got, and not in a feminine way. Both had been pegged out as strange all through school, mostly because of their clothes and hair. As eighth formers, both had worn short hair like Nadia's now, only changed once for a protest in which Nadia appeared in her maths with a short spiked hair style with bright blue tips poking out. She was also pegged strange when she wrote the poem about what it was like to be dead, but she had written it like a sort of prose, a poem with no stanza, rhyme, or shape. Only Lexi had seen the shape in her poem, and she was supposedly a vampire. They seemed to be close in their difference, but they were so alike in every way that Nadia liked to pretend that when people mistook them for sisters, they shouldn't correct them.
"It's getting late," Lexi noted dryly, then cursing. "Damnit! I was supposed to look for a flat today-"
Nadia stood up, holding her half-done painting out before her. "Stay with me, then, I've got room if you don't mind the couch."
The other woman grinned happily. "Thanks."
"In fact, I've got an extra room; Tommy moved out." She grinned.
Lexi did a little dance as they walked down the streets together. "I'm so glad to hear that! Speaking of boyfriends, how's Eric doing?"
Nadia's breath caught slightly, making Lexi's eyes widen a bit with awe. "He's alright, I just talked to him yesterday and today a bit, actually."
"Something wrong, Naddy?" she asked, using Nadia's nickname.
Laughing nervously, Nadia shook her head. "No, everything's alright, trust me. Just let me clear one thing up," she started, smiling in her friendly way, "when you said 'speaking of boyfriends, how's Eric?' did you mean when he was your boyfriend or were you teasing me?"
Lexi smirked. "A little of both, actually."
Nadia rolled her eyes and pulled her keys from her pocket, looking at her small brick house. "Alright, just wondering."
"Well, what did you two talk about?" Lexi pressed, gratefully dropping her things around Nadia's feet, running a hand through her own short black hair.
She smiled suddenly. "All sorts of things, I can't believe I ran into him down in London-"
"Oh! So you actually ran into him, not just talked to him, huh?" Lexi asked as they sat down on the very couch where Eric had kissed Nadia.
Nadia nodded, unconcerned. "Yeah, anyway, I saved his ass from Natalie and company, so we talked for a while. He offered me a ride home, but we decided it would be too hard for him to find my house in the dark, so we went back to his place. The next morning his friends came over so he couldn't give me a ride and we're both sticklers for cash, you know." Lexi smiled with a roll of her eyes. "After I spent the day keeping busy playing housewife, he drove me home and-" She cut herself off, standing up.
"And what, Nadia?" Her friend asked, standing up. Sometimes Lexi and Nadia tended to act more male-like on the spectrum, mostly on Nadia's part in her fervent secrecy and the many things she chose to hide from Lexi most of the time, whereas any normal woman would be screaming and shatting themselves in order to tell their best friends that they had just kissed another guy.
She squirmed. "I dunno, we talked some more, about some things I never talk about with him, you know? It made me feel weird, but not because it was him, it was just things you don't talk about with anyone for whatever reason."
"It probably was because it was him, Naddy, you know that. You and I talk about necrophilia like it's no big deal, so what made you shy away from Eric, your good buddy of whom you have spent so many years with?" Lexi asked, pulling Nadia back down to the couch as she rose to get them some drinks; they'd need them.
Nadia squirmed when Lexi placed a Cosmopolitan in her hands, knowing if she told Lexi that she'd be full of good advice that she didn't want to hear, but if she didn't she knew that Lexi could figure it out. She was a criminal lawyer and could read any emotion on your face, and could also test you by saying things that'll get you to make those faces that she could read like a book. It was risky business knowing Lexi, but she knew if she didn't tell somebody other than Eric about what happened she be dead meat. Her older brother was a little bit on the jock side, and her younger sister was a little bit on the ditzy side; together they made her parents look like a pair of crazies.
"Shall I interrogate, or would you feel more comfortable telling me on your own accord?" Lexi's tone was business-like, never a good sign.
Managing not to show very much expression, Nadia rolled her eyes. "We talked about having REALLY WILD SEX, AND THEN WE DID!" she said in a loud, sarcastic voice.
With a small smile, Lexi rubbed her chin. "I'm thinking he brought up something along those lines and you were uncomfortable. You were uncomfortable because you had been thinking the same thing and didn't want it to get out of control; am I right?"
Nadia took a deep draw from the glass in her hand, scowling at Lexi and her damnable ability. "I think his friends made him feel like he had to talk to me about dating, because after we left the club where he and his friends-all of whom have their little significant others but him- he was very nice to me. I'm not saying he's not normally nice, but this was strange. We fell aslee-"
"Girl, if I wanted to know what happened the day before yesterday, I would've asked. Now, can you please tell me what happened last night?" She put her arm across Nadia's shoulders, soothing Nadia slightly.
"He wanted to know if I thought the reason we never see ourselves as a possible couple is because we've never given it a shot. So he asked if I wanted to 'try it' just to see if anything happened. I didn't want to become that thing I hated- you know, what with all the 'I'm afraid if I date Jim our friendship will suffer' crap, but as soon as he started talking about that, I started freaking out-" Nadia shook her head slowly.
Lexi waved her to a stop. "So, he mentioned trying to date you?"
Nadia groaned, putting her head back. "I don't know what he meant, all I know is he tricked me into telling him to kiss me."
The other woman squealed. "Oh my God! Did he?"
With a bitter sneer, Nadia nodded. "Hell yeah!"
"And did you like it, Nadia?" She asked quietly.
Nadia's brain kicked into overdrive, but she caught herself and put on a stony face. "No,"
"You didn't?" Lexi frowned.
It was a filthy lie, but Nadia stood by it. "I hated it; I felt like I was only there because he wanted to try it. Afterwards didn't feel normal, it felt like nothing had happened and we were still just friends!"
"Nadia, that's a good thing, you know. If you can still be comfortable around him after that you should be happy. Besides, it doesn't mean anything; if you didn't like it it's no big deal. You're still friends, right?"
She nodded slowly. "Now he kisses me on the mouth when he leaves, and I don't know what to do-"
"Move your head just a little so he only gets the corner of your mouth; it'll be alright." She paused, scrunching up her nose. "I can't believe you don't like him! He's such a great guy, Nadia!"
Nadia sighed and swirled the ice in her glass. "I guess I needed to get that off my chest; thanks Lexi."
"Hey, no problem! That was just about the best gossip I've heard in months!" she teased. "Eric 'I'm Never Going To Get Married' Idle and Nadia 'My Best Friend And I Have Joined Checking' Smart have finally kissed each other."
Nadia smacked Lexi with a blush, which made Lexi gasp out loud. "You're lying, Nadia! You liked it!"
"No!" Nadia buried her face in her hands, standing up.
Lexi caught her arm anyway. "You did! You're embarrassed- why the hell are you embarrassed? Do you know if he liked it?"
"No!" Nadia wailed, falling to her knees. She felt like, for the first time in a very long time, she was going to cry. "I didn't like it, and I know he didn't-"
"You don't know that." Lexi's voice was far too calm.
Nadia stood up and slapped her legs hard, face contorted into a very upset expression. "Those people are right, Lexi. For once we were wrong; if you try something you're not used to with someone you're close to, it can change things."
Lexi shook her head, putting her hand on Nadia's shoulder gently. "You said you acted like just friends afterwards, right? Unless you were lying there too, I think you'll be fine. Why are you lying about liking it, though? Do you think I'm going to tell him?"
"No, I don't know why I lied. It seems to me that if I admit that it was the most awe-inspiring kiss in my entire life, that I wouldn't act the same around him-" she started off, shaking her head slowly.
Fighting the smile, Lexi replied. "You acted the same right after, right? You're going to be fine. As my mother said; 'Marriage is like spending the night at your best friend's house every night.' Lucky you that your best friend is a good kisser." She smirked, causing Nadia to smile.
"Come on then," Lexi tugged Nadia's arm, "you can talk to him tomorrow, go see if he's not busy on a Saturday, be normal again. See a movie, do something with him and act normal. It's easy, Nadia, you just need to stop lying to yourself."
"Alright, maybe. Maybe he'll let me paint him this time..." It seemed like everything would be alright now, but maybe she was going to have to act differently. Until tomorrow, she wasn't sure she'd know.
Chapter 2
Lexi and Nadia walked along the streets together, looking, if they could say so with a straight face, very drunk. They hadn't even been drinking, but there was always something about catching up with an old friend that made every inside joke ten times funnier, every little slip up funnier, and every sound effect louder. They were suddenly and happily aware of the hot night air, walking around the streets of London, collecting odd looks by the bushel and hardly caring anymore. Nadia hadn't even considered what she was going to do when she got there, but she found herself just having a good time with Lexi and she didn't mind at all. She sketched her friend twice using charcoal and grained paper, keeping one for herself and giving the better of the two to Lexi for her to keep.
Inside a small shop with Gray and John, Eric sighed in a bored manner. He had volunteered to go scouting locations, hadn't he? Yet there he sat, bored out of his mind, and he hadn't a clue why. John gave him a stern look as he sat there, chin in hand, elbow on table, eyes half-shut with boredom. Finally, papers signed and location scouted, John and Gray hauled Eric out of the shop as they started toward the car. They were interrupted rudely, if not strangely.
There was a loud screech somewhere to their left, and two women flew out out of the nearest alley with a broken bottle fleeing after them. They were laughing hard, and when the second collapsed in a heap in front of the parking meter, Gray had almost started laughing as well. The woman hoisted her bag and stood up, making sure she hadn't dropped any of her painting materials or her papers. John was just about to elbow Eric in the side when he stepped forward and helped her to her feet, shaking his head slowly.
"What happened?" he asked gently, brushing her off.
Nadia giggled and looked up, her eyes sparkling. "Ding dong ditch without a doorbell; risky business."
Eric fixed her with a scorful stare for about three seconds before he started to laugh gently, turning to see how the other woman was faring.
The second woman's eyes widened as Eric stepped over to make sure she hadn't gotten hurt and she gave Nadia a hard look. "Oh! Hello, Eric."
"Hey, look, I brought Lexi!" Nadia elbowed Lexi, who ran her eyes over her former flame eagerly. He just got cuter and cuter every time she saw him- and he was growing his hair out! She smiled and tried not to look out of breath; John and Gray snorted, Gray clearing his throat loudly.
Eric ignored him and turned back to Nadia. "What are you doing here?"
She shrugged. "Lexi just showed up and we wanted something to do. Movie's opening up at the cinema, so we were going to go out and have a good time." She paused, thinking over her comment quickly. "Care to join a couple ladies in a dark theater?"
Against his wishes, Eric's heart began to pound harder. "Sounds promising,"
For once, John and Gray did not make any comments about their outing, they didn't tell them to be back by eleven, and they didn't seem to mind that Eric was staring at both of them like he was seeing a woman for the very first time. Finally he shook Lexi's hand and wrapped Nadia lightly upside the head before turning to get into the car, slipping into the back seat fearlessly. They waved as they left, but as soon as they rounded the block, Eric flopped back in the seat and screamed loudly, kicking the window once. Gray started to tap on the brakes in case he was going into a seizure, but the man lying in the back seat was not in pain, he was just confused and angry.
"Which movie is opening up at the cinema?" Lexi asked quickly, turning to walk with Nadia, who was already looking in a window forlornly.
She squinted one eye. "It's not really opening so much as re-opening, you see. Casablanca is playing along with a thriller, Psycho I think."
Lexi snorted. "You're going to take you 'best friend' to see Casablanca and Psycho? What are you, crazy?"
Nadia folded her arms defensively. "Psycho is my favourite movie!"
"You're forgetting the fact that Casablanca is a love story and you're taking Eric to it!" Lexi retorted, smiling knowingly.
Nadia rolled her eyes. "It's not like we haven't done it before. That's why we go to re-openings. There'll be no one there, we can sit and make fun of that movie the entire time. Romances are the best things to make fun of."
With another snort, Lexi sighed. "You are the only woman I know who doesn't take guys to theaters to scream and clamor on their laps."
Instead of scrunching her nose up, as usual at things like that, Nadia's face went lax; she began to think about what it would be like to have Eric holding her tight again, keeping her safe from whatever horror and violence she was seeing. It made her feel warm just to think about it, just like it always did when she was upset and knew he'd be there to cheer her up. The only other "scary" movie Nadia had seen in Eric's company had been a not so scary movie that had left her laughing when others were screaming, Eric trying to shush her as she howled with the cheesiness of the film ("Eric, the mask just ties in the back. How can anyone be afraid of that?").
Nadia pushed her glasses to the bridge of her nose and sighed, pulling her bag off her shoulder with a fierce look. She began to sketch lightly, trying to remember Eric's face from memory. Lexi talked on and on about various things, correcting Nadia as she went, telling her things about Eric she remembered, throwing in a few unnecessary things as she did.
"So, you're working as a legal aide, and I'm still trying to get myself enough money to stop working at the elementary school and become a professional artist. What else is new?" Nadia asked sarcastically, trying to concentrate on shading the sketch before her.
Lexi began to giggle.
"Say it," the other said dangerously.
Lexi giggled again, but spoke. "Well, for starters my best female friend has a best male friend that-"
"I'd leave that subject alone, seeing as I have a pointy object at hand." Nadia cut her off shortly, smiling lightly to show she was joking.
Her friend laughed. "It's just hard to see you two doing anything together; I never could picture you two living together. There was that week when you sold the couch and we could only guess where you were sleeping, and you said, 'Oh, I've been in Eric's bed, with him' and we were all, 'WHAT?!'"
Nadia rolled her eyes. "And you were like, and she was all, and then he was like-"
"I get it, I get it," Lexi muttered darkly, turning her head sharply to look down the street.
She snorted and flipped over her pad of paper. "Yes? No?" She tilted the sketch of Eric, squinting slightly. Lexi gave her a thumbs up; Nadia ripped the page from the book and handed it to her.
Nadia rubbed her feet in her sandals, moaning softly as she stood. "I really should get a car, but I have no money. Thank you, public transportation, oh, and thank you God, while I'm at it!" She shook a fist at the sky.
Lexi smiled. "Just means you can get rides home with Eric more,"
"Reckless driver he is..."
"Ugh! Nadia, you need to un-lighten up!" Lexi shook her briskly. Nadia lolled about for a moment before seizing Lexi's hands and fixing her with an incredulous look.
"What?"
Lexi made a disgusted noise and stalked off, mutter haphazardly. "You need to act serious for once and start talking to me like you're in a drama here!"
Nadia laughed. "But I'm not! There's nothing melodramatic happening right now; why act like it?"
Whirling around with nostrils flaring, Lexi took a tremendous breath. "You must be joking!"
"You think just because I kissed my best friend I'm going to have to get all sappy and worried? I had a few drinks, I freaked, I'm done! I'm dropping it, and you should too! Just because you used to date him doesn't mean that I have to make up for what you couldn't provide for him, Lexi. Just because you couldn't handle having him so casual about everything doesn't mean I have to be attached to his side. I've lived with that guy; I know how he ticks. So shut up and let me live!" Nadia's arms stopped waving around as she stopped ranting and looked around to see quite a few people staring. Slowly, Lexi took a bow, Nadia following. A small smattering of applause came shortly and soon enough they were sitting down inside a small book store, cheeks flaming.
Lexi sipped out of a Styrofoam cup nonchalantly. "You never told Eric what time to meet us at the theater."
"Seven o' clock show; ever since we were eighteen we've been going to the seven o' clock. There's always a show at that time on a Saturday. He'll find us." Nadia muttered, stirring some sugar into her cup.
Lexi sighed dreamily. "Just don't take things for granted, huh Nadia? Promise me that."
The other woman sighed and looked up. "How so?"
"Don't take for granted the fact that he still knows what you like and don't like, and that he makes time for you. Don't forget that he has been there for you when no one else has, you know what I mean. Don't forget that he does sweet things for you when he doesn't have to." Lexi was looking rather lonely at that point.
Nadia sighed slowly, tiring of her constant deep breathing. "What cute things? You mean like the way he always drives me home at all hours, and he still sends me concert notifications when Steel Tarantula is in town?" She smiled, remembering her favourite band's name fondly.
"Yeah, and the way he still hugs you in the morning when you look like you could die on your feet, and the way he pushes your glasses up on your face for you. When you fall asleep with those on he takes them off and puts them on the table for you; he's just a sweet person to you for some reason." She sniffed and looked away.
Nadia hinted some jealousy and took Lexi's hand. "He used to be sweet to you, or do you forget?"
Lexi's shoulders rocked, though Nadia couldn't see the tears. "I don't remember."
"He'd carry you inside to your dorm, he'd drive you to classes half an hour out of his way, and he put up with all your room-mates for almost a year before you two broke up for the first time." Nadia smiled.
Lexi laughed gently, smiling in spite of herself. "You were my room-mate when we dated, Nadia."
"I'm pretty annoying, believe it or not," she replied wisely.
"Yeah, but he always liked you. He stuck up for you when the entire campus thought that you were a lesbian," she paused and laughed, "and even made up that rumour about Jon Beckensale to save you."
Nadia laughed. "Jon Beckensale, God, if only he was single now!"
The lead singer of Steel Tarantula was a tall and lanky blonde haired, blue eyed beauty. He had a very soft voice, and sounded very sincere, and had even gone to college around the same time as Nadia and Eric. He was a fourth year student when Nadia was a first year student. She had stayed five years to get her degree, also a year behind in age for her group. She had graduated at seventeen instead of eighteen, a year younger than everyone in her class, at least.
Eric had saved her reputation after Nadia's mistake of stating that she wasn't interested in guys as much as her studies. Most people took it the wrong way and thought that she was a lesbian and she hung out with Eric so people wouldn't know. He had spread the rumour that Nadia had slept with Jon Beckensale and it had ended badly, so she was sick of guys for a while. He then insisted that if a woman could put up with a man like him for more than ten minutes, she was not a lesbian, because they have absolutely no use for men and prefer to have female friends, of which she only had one, and she was also rather strange. Together the three of them gathered themselves some attention.
"I wonder what it would be like to sleep with him," Lexi mumured, thinking about Jon Beckensale.
Nadia giggled. "Let's go find out, right now."
"Right, we'll just knock on the door and pretend to go nuts; 'OH MY GOD! JUST SCREW ME NOW!'" She laughed.
Nadia looked up at the clock. "Six thirty; we have half an hour. Oh, let's buy our tickets while we're thinking about it."
They left and walked the ten blocks to the theater, which with their slow and steady gait took them upwards of twenty minutes. They bought their tickets and went inside to sit, though Nadia lingered outside. She handed the ticket salesman a few extra notes.
"There'll be a guy showing up, probably the only other person that shows, when he comes in, tell him he doesn't have to pay, it's on me." She grinned wickedly, knowing very well Eric would be embarrassed she paid for him.
"In case someone else does show up, can I have this wonderful stranger's name?" The man asked in a monotone.
Nadia nodded gracefully. "Eric Idle, and pass the message for me."
"What message?" he asked in the same bored voice.
Nadia grinned before saying, "Just do me a favor and give him a hard time about having a woman pay for his admittance, please?"
He nodded. "As you wish, madame."
She thanked him before walking into the theater where Lexi sat in the very middle, slightly to the right, holding her jacket like a pillow. Nadia showed her a cool trick where they sat in the very back near the concession stand and were able to use the wall like a rest. After a few minutes of previews and shorts, a crouched figure made its way over to the area where they sat. He popped up, face scrunched up in a strange way.
"You bitch," he muttered, sitting down.
Nadia laughed. "Aww, poor baby! Did the mean man give you a hard time?"
Eric smacked at her lightly, sitting to her left while Lexi sat pinned to the wall. Nadia snickered again and bunched her jacket up under her arms before placing it on Eric's shoulder and putting her head on it. He moved his shoulder once or twice, tilting her head off to either side, but the movie had started so he sort of sat still to make sure that this one time she didn't lose it and end up needing to bury into his shirt like the first time she watched the movie with him.
The movie was great, they made it through part one before there was a break and the concession stand was opened to all three of them. Lexi paid up and bought everyone everything they needed, Eric not quite being able to face the ticket salesman/concession worker as she paid. Nadia sat back down and stared anxiously as "Casablanca" came onto the screen. Eric situated himself in between the two women and jokingly faked a stretch, putting his arms around both of them. Instead of batting him away, both sort of snuggled up to him, passing foodstuffs between them and chatting as the more boring parts came along. There were a few late arrivals that moved right up to the front, mostly boyfriend girlfriend couples that proceeded to snog heavily every few moments, a few older couples necking in the corners for old times' sake. As it proceeded to go along, Lexi managed to spill most everything she got her hands on, which proved to go badly for Eric, caught in the middle. It was the last straw when she tipped over a cup of soda, jumping over the seats to get paper towels. She was gone, in and out, retrieving paper towels and throwing sopping ones away. When she did return, she grabbed the empty cup and walked up to the vacant stand, waiting patiently for someone to refill or throw away. Nadia shook her head at Lexi for a moment before turning back to the screen, Eric's arm still around her shoulders, her right one pressed to the wall.
She heard Lexi sigh and walk to the other side in hopes of catching the ticket salesman there, but he wasn't there. She sat down cross legged and waited, now determined.
Nadia shook her head slowly again, waiting for the sappy love scene to be over.
"What's her name again?" Eric whispered, making Nadia break out into goosebumps as his breath washed over her.
She shivered once before answering. "Ilsa Lund,"
"Ah, right," he replied, sinking down lower into the chair, turning to look at Nadia's face.
She stared fixedly at the screen, clearly telling Eric that she was giving it her all not to look at him. She blinked several times as she turned to look at him, giving him almost a scolding before fixing her eyes on the screen again, turning a light pink as she did.
"Kiss me. Kiss me as if it were the last time!" Ilsa crooned softly before the man on the screen pushed his face to hers and an ecstasy spread over both of them.
Both Nadia and Eric went rigid, neither of them brave enough to look at the either, neither of them brave enough to laugh. Lexi still wasn't there, and the never-ending kiss on the screen seemed to have sparked what couples were not busy necking to have started. Eric finally moved, crossing his legs slowly, moving his arm off her shoulder even slower. Nadia wanted to close her eyes and open them to see a white sand beach, blue waters, and no Eric. It was hard enough knowing they wouldn't talk about it, but now there was a love scene playing in the theater and she was alone with him, not making fun of it.
"I think she swallowed his tongue," she whispered finally.
Eric took a deep, relieved breath, letting it out in a small laugh. "Along with a few other things,"
Lexi paused as she reentered the viewing area, wiping her hands off on her pants as she did, looking carefully at the fading picture of the kissing couple on the screen, and then searching in the dark for her two friends, who were busy looking opposite directions. Eric cleared his throat once before leaning dramatically to his left and resurfacing with a pair of sunglasses from Lexi's bag, which he put on and lowered himself into the seat some more, catching up on some lost sleep. Nadia's head lowered onto his shoulder, and within minutes the two were fast asleep as the end of the movie came and went, credits rolling at just past eleven. Lexi slid up behind Nadia and shook her shoulders softly, grabbing her glasses as they slipped off the end of her face as she sat up.
"You should have kissed him, Naddy. He was looking you over!" Lexi prodded.
Nadia groaned sleepily. "No, Lexi, never again. The more I think about it, the less I think I actually enjoyed it and the more I think I just assumed I would. I don't think I really did."
Lexi sighed this time, knowing it was about time Nadia figure out her feelings by herself with enough help from her.
"Besides, I'd rather do this," Nadia said mischievously, sticking her index finger into her mouth before inserting it into Eric's ear. He sat bolt upright, rubbing his ear furiously with his shirt sleeve, whining under it all.
"Eww, gross, Nadia!" he muttered, scrubbing feverishly at the area.
Nadia laughed. "You've only done that to me ever since we met! That's only the second time I've done it, I say you suck it up and let it go!"
As they walked out to the street, Nadia began counting underground subway tokens carefully. She cursed and handed Lexi enough to get her home before turning to Eric pitifully.
"Spare a bum some tokens, buddy?" she asked, holding out the amount she had. Eric fished around in his pockets before shaking his head apologetically.
He tilted his head back towards his car. "I'll give you a ride, come on."
Lexi giggled softly and raced off to link her hand in his, Nadia trying to act mad. She whined to him about how nice he was being and how she'd probably owe him for some reason. In the end she did climb into the car, but she felt strange being in the back seat while Lexi and Eric chatted up front. Eric seemed to be stiffening up a bit toward Lexi, he didn't seem to like talking to her all that much. Lexi, on the other hand, seemed to be ecstatic he was giving her the attention and basked in it. She brought up so many stupid topics on the hour-long drive that Nadia even tuned out and stared at her feet.
As they pulled up, Nadia leapt out of the car before it even stopped, Lexi scrambling out after her with a yelp. Eric stood up on the other side of the car and coughed lightly. "Nadia! I need to talk to you!"
She froze and rolled her eyes, depositing her bag into Lexi's arms as she stormed into the house, scared of what was going to happen. Nadia walked back to the side of Eric's car, her hands on her hips.
"What?"
He tossed his keys into the back seat. "Get in," he commanded sternly, slipping in himself. Nadia climbed in and folded her arms, looking carefully at her sandaled feet again. Eric sighed somewhere to her right, hands on the steering wheel.
"What the hell is the matter with you?" he finally asked.
Nadia snorted. "I'm sick of you being a goody-two-shoes all the time, what the hell happened to you?"
He gave her an incredulous look. "Since when am I not allowed to give you a ride home?"
"When it's an hour away! We should have walked," she spat irrationally.
He started to talk again, but Nadia cut him off. "Naddy-"
"And another thing, stop calling me 'Naddy!' It's a stupid name-" She started in on him, eyes glittering maliciously.
He raised his hands in confusion. "What the hell?"
Nadia's face was reddening slowly, making her usually beautiful skin become ugly. "Shut up!"
"What is it, that time of the month?" Eric asked, hurt shining out in his eyes.
"You are such a jerk, you know that? You can't even be serious when I'm serious!"
He looked up suddenly, surprising Nadia to see his eyes swimming slightly. "Is this because we kissed?"
Averting her eyes, Nadia bit her lip. "Yes,"
Eric sighed and looked away, his face making a beacon of hurt and sorrow. "I'm sorry, Nadia. I'll go now,"
With that, Nadia seized his arm, feeling slightly schizophrenic as she did so. "Eric! I'm not supposed to be allowed to yell at you for being nice, or for using my nickname, or for trying to lighten the mood. Keep me sane, don't let me beat you up over it!"
He gave her a very strange look of confusion. "Look, I'm sorry if I've fucked up your life, but
I-"
"You didn't fuck up anything! Well, a lot anyway," she muttered, turning away. "I'm sorry, Eric, and I should be. Please don't be mad; it's my fault."
Her glasses slipped down to the end of her nose as she rapidly turned back to him and looked out to her house several times. He reached out and pulled the glasses off of her face. He put them on and looked at her intelligently.
"How do I look?" He posed, letting her know she was forgiven.
She giggled, squinting. "Smashing, dear, now can I have those back? I have a date with my bed."
Slowly Eric took the glasses off and slid up next to her, tilting her chin up to place the square frames back onto her face. She didn't move as he slid closer, and she didn't move as the cool plastic slid over her ears and brought the world back into focus. She didn't move as Eric leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on her lips, washing her over with a strange feeling. She didn't move as he pushed her against the seat, and she didn't try to kiss him back. He continued to kiss her over and over again, touching her cheek with a free hand, the other holding her left hand tightly. The only time she voluntarily moved was when he parted for air and she opened her mouth, giving him a silent notice. He slid up to her again and pushed his tongue into her mouth, sighing with her taste, loving he way she went limp again and again in his arms. She didn't move back, and she didn't touch him, but the simple fact she wasn't pushing him away made him feel golden. As he moved his lips from her mouth to her cheek, inching back to her neck slowly, Nadia sighed. He was so gentle this time, not pushing urgently, not grabbing her and pulling her unbelievably close. Goosebumps broke out over Nadia's arms and legs, making the hairs on the back of her neck rise pleasantly as he kissed gently on her neck, his lips soft and inviting. She looked him over as he slid back and looked at her silently. When she didn't move, he reached up and took her glasses from her again, sliding back over to her.
This was one of those times she felt over-comfortable. He was so gentle and adorable, kissing her here and there, but in the end she still knew that he probably had an unholy mess waiting for him to clean when he got home, he drank and smoked, he hung out with an unruly crowd, and he had dated more than three women at once a long time ago. She knew so much about him, and yet this was a surprising thing she was learning. She was learning that he could be gentle and caring with even her, the girl he'd met sitting in a fountain. She could almost hear his breathy voice asking her if it had always been like that again, but in the end she decided she was asking herself that question. Then she answered the question and said that no, it hadn't always been like that, and she was scared of what was going to happen. As his hands ran over her hips and shoulders, she knew that once again, she'd do just about anything for him, which scared her more. She pushed him away finally, fleeing the car as she felt tears coming.
"Nadia-!"
"Save it Eric, go home." She replied with a choke in her voice.
He caught her arm and looked her over urgently. "Why-?"
"I don't want to talk to you anymore," she shook her arm from his grip, "and I'd appreciate it if you never touched me again."
With that she walked inside and slammed her door behind her.
*****
Eric lit a cigarette, not caring there were about four empty packs next to him and Mike wasn't helping him burn them down. He picked up a small glass of whiskey and sipped it, glaring hard as John shook his head at him. It was ten o' clock in the morning and he'd been drinking for about an hour, hardly caring that he was on the road to a meltdown of sorts. The others hadn't brought up the night before, knowing something had happened between Nadia and himself, and it hadn't been good. He hadn't spoken a word all morning, though he'd turned out about five new sketches in five minutes, scribbling quickly, cigarette bouncing in the corner of his mouth as he did so, his loose clothes looking more loose than ever, like he was starving before their very eyes. He sighed and rubbed his eyes, trying to see past the horror in his life. Since when does drama strike up so quickly and harshly, with so many consequences?
As if hoping to break the uncomfortable silence, Gray switched on the radio and sat back, tuning into a station. A strange melody played and John Lennon's voice floated over the static.
"I love to turn you on...."
Eric hurled a glass at the radio and scowled as it shattered but did not manage to destroy Terry's radio. Terry picked up the shards of glass and sighed as the other Terry began to sketch Eric, who was sitting there in the heartlessness of heartbreak. He looked like such a badass, cigarette, bottle of whiskey, and his dirty and disheveled appearance. Terry added some shading to make him look like he had five o' clock shadow, snickering softly. He stopped laughing as Eric shot him a murderous glare, only hoping that whatever had happened between him and Nadia would resolve soon. His job wasn't at stake, but his social life was.
Morning had come and left already for Nadia, who was wide awake and sitting in the ledge of her small house's window. She watched the cars going by, hoping one of them would stop like they used to do when she'd sit in her dorm window. They'd stop and two or five young men would climb out and whistle, maybe knock on the door and gasp as the masses of young girls walked out amongst Eric, the lone male in a house dorm full of women.
Lexi tapped Nadia on the shoulder carefully; it still frightened her. "Hey, how's life?"
Nadia took a deep, slow breath through her nose, trying not to cry like she had last night. "Melodramatic, crappy, stupid. I wish I was dead."
"Now now, you don't wish you were dead, come on!" Lexi chided softly, rubbing her shoulders.
The other woman nodded. "Yes I do! I told Eric," she let her head drop down, "not twelve hours ago that I'd rather not see him ever again on any level."
Lexi stared. "Well, why the hell did you do that?"
"He kissed me again, Lexi. I can't have him doing that to me!" She howled, putting her head down again.
"And how did you feel when he kissed you?" Lexi asked, tossing some of her short hair out of her eyes. Seeing this, Nadia ran her hand over her own head, trying to feel how her hair had faired. It stuck out in all directions, hanging in her eyes when she looked down. She ruffled her hair very thoroughly before looking up again.
She thought carefully. "At first I was nothing, I was just there. He was being more gentle than usual, so I felt sort of warm, beautiful. As he moved closer I could feel elation, but then there was all this dread and I couldn't see through it. I didn't even try to move and he still kept going; I felt like a damned queen. Beautiful and loved, but I'm still going to be in hell in the end anyway."
Lexi clucked her tongue softly. "Honey, you're misinterpreting this whole thing. You were probably just surprised when he kissed you, so you didn't know how to react. When you realised he was trying to be gentle and careful with you, it was like you felt loved, which is warm like you described. Elation is next, right? Elation is usually happiness, which means you were happy that he was kissing you again, but the dread wasn't that you think it can never work or it'll spoil something you already have! That dread was of him moving around, ending the moment. You knew it would end and you didn't know what to say to him." She took Nadia's glasses and put them on, arranging them like a psychiatrist.
Nadia laughed carefully. "I still told him never to touch me, to stop talking to me, and he didn't have to walk me in. What if he doesn't ever want to talk to me again?"
"You know Eric isn't like that; he'll try to win you over. Don't make it too hard and he'll be all yours again," she concluded.
"It's different for him and me; we never do stupid stuff to each other." Nadia sniffed. "I was afraid at the very end; things were changing and I knew I'd do anything for him. I knew that if he wanted me to do something that I,-well, I would have done it!"
The doorbell rang, causing Nadia to put on her stony, expressionless stare as she walked downstairs to answer the door, snatching her glasses from Lexi as she passed her. When she yanked open the door, her jaw dropped slowly.
"Hello, are you Nadia Smart?" A soft and sincere voice asked, shedding a pair of sunglasses to reveal a pair of pale blue eyes nearly hidden under a pile of blonde hair.
She blinked three times quickly, nodding. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure."
The man smiled briefly before saying, "I was wondering if you were interested in doing a painting for our new record cover-"
Lexi froze as she peered over Nadia's shoulder to see who it was. "Jon Beckensale! We were just talking about you!"
He flashed another rare smile at Nadia as she closed her eyes and let them open to reveal just the whites of her eyes, twitching in annoyance. She swatted Lexi quickly, inviting Jon to sit down anywhere there was space. She swept a set of Chinese food containers off a couch before letting him sit.
"So, what kind of painting did you have in mind?" she asked, picking up a notepad and flipping to an empty page.
He made a nervous face before leaning back into the couch. "Well, we were hoping on some subliminal messages of some kind, but we didn't want to go too far. Basically we want to show the world that tarantulas are better that beetles, if you get my drift."
"I'm reading in between the lines, trust me." She nodded with a sly grin. "Still working on hard rock, then?"
He nodded. "Led Zeppelin don't have shit on us."
Nadia nodded and continued to sketch lightly, turning it around finally. "This is just a rough sketch, mind you. I could paint it or make a black and white final print of this for you. Depending on what definition of detail you want."
The rouch sketch depicted five giant steel tarantulas standing over a city where all the people fleeing around were beetles of one kind or another, the only ones in safety being the tinier steel tarantulas. The message was clear: Join us or die.
"The name of the album is 'Combat Rock' if that helps." He added.
"It still works. You're fighting all the insects on earth, and the only survivors are converts and those on your side. Like a giant war, like combat." She told him, smiling as it finally dawned on him.
He grinned again. "Ohhh! I get it! You've got some talent here, Nadia. I think we should do a detailed black and white cover, if you don't mind."
She shook her head, smiling warmly. "I don't mind at all, actually. I need those paints for my fourth grade project at the public school."
Slowly, Jon scratched the back of his neck. "Do you remember your first year surrealism in the arts class at Cambridge?"
"Yeah, I do." She tilted her head.
"Remember that project that showed up anonymous that was a whole bunch of Polaroids showing all these peoples' faces, all lonely and empty around a picture of a woman crying on a stone bench? And in the middle of the collage was your face, laughing, in color," he said, looking off into the distance. "Then I failed the class because the teacher never graded my project."
"Why didn't she grade it?" Nadia asked, not seeing why he was asking all these questions.
He blushed slightly. "Because I didn't want you to know I centered my entire collage out of a picture I took of you hanging out with your friends. I didn't want you to know that I was falling all over myself for an hour a half a day just to be in the same room with you. And I certainly didn't want you to think I cared I was failing that class."
Nadia stared at him. "That was a beautiful collage, Jon. All those lonely faces bathed in sorrow, black and white, and then a face full of color, it almost brightened it, but it was almost a metaphor for life. We all want to be that beautiful shiny person when the reality is we're all lonely."
He looked up with bright eyes. "You're the first person to understand it!"
She shrugged, flipping her notepad closed. "I don't look at the world in 3-D as much as 4-D."
"You're wonderful, Nadia. I want to take you out somewhere, right now! Let's go!" He tugged her hand, tossing his blonde hair out of his face again, smiling again.
She smiled slyly. "I thought you said you never smiled."
"Nothing worth smiling for before," he replied, shrugging one shoulder.
"So, was that a date invitation, or am I getting my hopes up?" She asked.
Jon snickered. "You flatter me; I'd love to have you come with me somewhere."
"When? I'm free all summer," she smirked at his raised eyebrows.
"How does eight o' clock sound? We'll go out to this club I know, see if I still know how to dance." He grinned sheepishly. With that he left, promising to call her, taking her number down and exiting just as strangely as he came, seemingly disappearing into her hedge and into the next door neighbor's yard. Nadia shook her head disbelievingly before closing her door and sitting down to work on that album cover.
Lexi walked in and wrapped Nadia upside the head impatiently. "You ditz, did you forget that at this very minute you've got your best friend in the world sitting somewhere out there thinking you never want to see him again? You better reconcile before you go out tonight, really Nadia!" she scolded, folding her arms in a very criminal lawyer-like way.
Nadia grabbed her sketch and made a face. "Fine, I'll go talk to him right now!" She seized her coat and slipped on her shoes, ignoring the fact she was wearing a pair of men's basketball shorts, a tank top, and nothing else. She slipped on her denim jacket, slid on some sneakers she'd sheared the heels from and walked out into the street holding nothing but some money for the underground and her glasses, which she had taken off to clean.
She sat on the subway train, feeling in a very uneven mood. Before, when she had thought that things were evening out again, she had completely forgotten that Eric was probably sitting somewhere just trying to forget about her, or figure her out. She hated to say it, but sometimes she could be a real woman and be hard to read, and normally she was just a magazine he could pick up and read when he felt necessary. Now she felt like ancient runes that needed deciphering, which can be a very seductive and mysterious thing to do, but she didn't like being secretive to Eric. He was her best friend for God's sake! Why mess with him?
The cart slowed and stopped in the London station, a speaker blaring. Nadia stepped off and pulled off her denim jacket, shrugging it off because of the stifling heat of the car she had occupied. Now as she stood in the crowded station she realised just how undressed she was, and what she was wearing was a bit out of the ordinary. She pulled on her hair and shirt and tried not to look creepy, arranging her glasses carefully. She walked, her sneakers squeaking softly on the wet tile floor of the lobby. She stepped into the hot air and squinted across the street, dreading the half an hour trudge to Eric's house, which he probably wasn't even in on a Sunday afternoon.
A song which had been running through Nadia's head all day resurfaced and tried to sing out loudly but she squashed it the best she could. There were words in her head she hadn't ever heard before, and the melody seemed to be a medley of all her favorite Beatles, Rolling Stones, and Steel Tarantula songs. She began to hum and think more about the words running through her head. They seemed to be dictating her life at that point, only singing more to the point of view of herself looking at her life and critisizing what she could.
Her half an hour was up. Sighing heavily, she knocked on his door and window simultaneously, and not hearing an answer, lifted up his welcome mat and pulled the spare key up, slipping it into the lock and feeling a tell-tale click. She pushed open the door after replacing the key. Inside was a complete mess, beer cans, cigarette butts, dirty clothes, blankets, a few empty pizza boxes. It hadn't been like that two days ago. Female instincts kicked in; Nadia began to obsessively clean the small house, saving leftovers, picking up the clutter, scrubbing stains, vacuuming, laundry, dishes, and dusting. She felt like a house-wife of sorts, waiting for Eric to return, but never stopped flitting around with one of her old head scarves tied on her head in a slightly gypsy way. As she worked in the kitchen, wiping off the counters at around six thirty, she began to sing the song that had been running through her head, trying to keep herself from singing loudly, but unable as the emotions of the song became evident.
As she began to swing her hips back and forth, drying a particularly wet dish with a fresh towel, she began to really belt out the song, her voice shaking with an unknown talent. She loved singing with the radio, and she wasn't all that bad, but the guitar and singing stuff was usually saved for Eric. There was a loud snap behind Nadia somewhere; her voice failed her instantly, nearly dropping the dish she held. She put it down and spun around, letting her jaw drop as she saw Eric, his eyes red and sad. He took a few deep breaths before placing a brown paper bag on the table and a pizza box. A small smile crept up on his face before he seated himself at the table, back to Nadia.
"Want some?" He opened the box, averting his eyes as she stepped into view.
She made a face. "Did you buy more liquor?"
Looking up slowly, his red rimmed eyes glowing out hauntingly, he nodded. "Why yes, yes I did."
She waved a hand through the air. "You've already been drinking today. Do you really-?"
"Some things happen that make you want to drink, alright?" he snapped, leaning back and grabbing a clean plate, tossing it to her. He grabbed one for himself and sat down again, giving her a look that made her sit down.
"Eric, I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said," she started, knowing he wasn't going to want to talk all that much.
He shrugged and pulled the bottle out of the bag. "Brandy, Nadia?"
She shook her head slowly. "No, I would like to talk to you- if you don't mind actually talking."
Eric snorted and put his hands down at his sides, staring at her gauntly. He snorted again and started to stand up when Nadia lurched to her feet and sat on his lap, wrapping her arms around him tightly. She took a deep breath through her nose, trying to tell what he was going through, trying to keep him close. He went sort of limp in her arms, pulling away slightly. His shoulders shook and when Nadia looked up from her slightly curled position she saw his face tilted away from her, grimace forcibly put there, eyes shining weakly. Such a man to not cry, Nadia mused. Just as he started to open his mouth, his hands floated up between them and tried to push him away. She only hugged him tighter and shushed him as he let out a small cry of anguish, hands finally leaping up around her shoulders.
"I'm sorry, Eric, I'm really sorry," she whispered, holding his head on her shoulder.
He laughed gently. "You're lucky I'm drunk."
Nadia smiled. "I'm just lucky,"
They pulled apart and smiled sheepishly at each other, Nadia brushing Eric's hair from his eyes, Eric pushing Nadia's glasses up on her face for her, both just sort of staring at the other. Eric smiled again but stopped abruptly and cast his eyes downward, blushing lightly. He shook his head and groped for his glass of brandy. He muttered something under his breath before slapping Nadia gently, letting her know he needed to get up. She slipped lightly off his lap and stood awkwardly as he stood up and sipped at his glass, unmoving. He reached out with one arm and pulled her into another tight hug before sitting down and opening the box again.
Gray stopped outside the house half an hour later and sighed, looking over at John who nodded furiously. He sighed again but climbed out of the car and started towards the door and knocking gently on the wood. He heard Eric's voice call him in, the door was unlocked. Pushing open the door revealed a very relieving sight. Eric was lying on his stomach up to his shoulders in freshly laundered blankets, a new pizza box next to him on the vacuumed carpet, but more importantly there was Nadia. She had propped herself with her elbows and was presently hiding behind the blanket as suspenseful music stabbed into the air. She whimpered softly and elbowed Eric weakly. He turned towards the screen of the brightly lit TV, playing an old black and white film.
"Glad to see you've, ahem, kissed and made up, Eric." Gray smiled.
Eric looked up and smiled back, turning to see what Nadia was doing. She pulled her denim jacket on, looking at her watch and staring expectantly at Eric. He lifted himself up and fished around in his pockets, pulling a few coins out and handing them over.
She smiled at him, not noticing Gray's smile. "Thanks, doll, you're an angel."
"Just whipped beyond belief," he retorted, reaching up and rubbing his face weakly.
"Thanks Eric; I'll talk to you later. Got me a date," she smirked.
He laughed. "You sure do recover quickly."
"You won't believe who it is this time," she replied, eyes sparkling.
Eric lifted his eyebrows. "Who?" His voice was stiff sounding, but Gray couldn't quite tell why.
"Jon Beckensale!" She danced happily.
Eric's face lit up, but Gray grimaced; he knew an actor's face when he saw one. "Go you, Nadia! Make sure he treats you well; I can't play big brother anymore."
She smiled sheepishly. "I know,"
With that she kissed him on the cheek, receiving one in return before stepping out and walking quickly for the train station, looking at her watch with a grimace. If she found some change along the road she could tell Lexi to stall Jon until she got there, half an hour late.
Inside, Eric fell to his knees, reaching under his kitchen table for his bottle of brandy. He cursed several times until Gray held out the bottle for him, empty.
"What the fuck did you do that for?" Eric shrieked, shaking the bottle hysterically.
Gray folded his arms. "Own up, mate, you can't accept the fact she's dating again after all this can you? I don't care what you do tonight, but no more drinking. I've got some Valium if you need that," he offered.
"You shouldn't be talking!" Eric retorted, eyes wild.
Gray rolled his eyes and put his hands on his hips. "Get some sleep, Eric."
"She's trying to kill me,"
"She apologized, didn't she? You didn't go begging her. This proves she doesn't want to kill you, I should think."
Eric looked pouty for an instant. "You didn't hear her last night. She wasn't Nadia, she wasn't even Naddy, she was just some teeny-bopper trying to keep her virginity like I was raping her or something," he said bitterly.
"Respect that decision then; if she doesn't feel like she can date you than it can't happen. Love isn't one way, you know that. If it doesn't come from two directions, it isn't there at all. Without a mutual connection it's an infatuation or an obsession. Even a crush." Graham was sounding too smart for Eric's taste.
"It's like a fucking job application. I'm fully qualified and I practically have the job, but she's going to give it to some slobbish lead singer of a crap-band and hope all goes well. In fact, my application is so good she's going to have me sign a contract so she can ring me up and complain about the guy she does hire, and all I can do is hope she finally sees I've been here the entire time." Clever metaphores seemed to happen upon Eric under extreme stress, and he didn't argue with that.
Gray shrugged and shook his head. "Women, mate. I decided it was too hard." He grinned.
"Yeah, and I'm considering." Eric replied, putting his head down with a sigh. "Goodnight, Gray."
Domain: Eric-Idle.com
Other Domain: Eric-Idle.net
Title: Idleized Heaven
Opened: February 10th, 2003
Created And Run By: Diane
Version: 11.0
Colors: Shades Of Gray
Screen Size: 1024x768
